Redefine Your Identity

In one of my more recent counseling sessions, my counselor got me pretty good. She asked me, "Why do you think you invest so much of your identity in to your job?" My first thought was, "What do you mean?". This was immediately followed by "Oh no, it's true!". Don't...

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Changing of the Season

In May 2018, I decided it was time. Time to stand on my own two feet for once and not allow myself to fall in with someone else so that I didn't have to feel alone. Here we are, 14 months later. I had my terrible marriage, and jumped into another 2.5 year...

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When Darkness Creeps In

Not too long ago, the darkness crept in on me. There was nothing I could do to fight it, no matter what I did. My only option was to fight through it and hope that the light wasn't too far off. I remember it started on the Tuesday following Father's Day. I was...

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Hey, God. Are you there?

One of my first posts was about religion and how losses in my family of those close to me had made me question religion. You can read more on it here. It's been just over 4 years since that post, and honestly, religion hasn't played much of an upfront role in my...

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Family Ties: Part 2

Evil Grandpa. I wrote about him just about 4 years ago now. Well, he's gone. I didn't think I would say this: it hurts. Not in the way you would expect. I'll paint the picture, buckle up. I heard stories that he had a hip replacement and wasn't able to live on his own...

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When Reality Strikes….

I've got friends and family who have kids, who doesn't? I always see and hear them talking about taking their kids to their extracurricular activities. Which I think is awesome. It got me thinking though. When I was younger, why didn't I do all that stuff? I played...

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Letter to Myself

I wish when I was younger that I could have had the ability to read a letter from my older self.  I think a lot of the heartbreak, and a lot of the confusion wouldn't have existed.  I understand that's a part of life but a little warning would be nice...

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It gets worse before it gets better.

My head is still spinning. The past month has been a challenge to say the least. Between issues in my marriage, questions about myself and where I belong in this world, and dealing with everyone on the outside, I am exhausted. I saw a therapist for the first time in...

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Another thought for the evening

I can't be alone in this but I often wonder what life lessons I didn't get growing up that would allow me to cope with situations and deal with my emotions. I wish I knew, I'd learn now. I know you need to be resilient but it can be hard to teach an old dog new...

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Holidays

Thanksgiving is right around the corner. Literally. There is one big thing that bugs me about the holidays. Now don't get me wrong. I cherish time with family, however; those are the few days a year when you're supposed to act like everything is just great. I don't...

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Fears

Most people who know me, don't really know me. That is my fault. I am aware of this. Very few people actually ever get to see the real me. If you walked up to someone who thinks they know me, and you told them I was funny, enjoyed making people laugh, was social, and...

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I have a secret

I put a man, specifically a police officer, in prison. I'm not going to give dates, years, or names in order to protect myself, because the FBI didn't do a very good job of protecting me. When I was younger, I was vulnerable. Extremely vulnerable. This police officer,...

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