They let us know that breakfast had arrived around 8 am. I figured it would be best to eat, even though I didn’t have an appetite. I got out of bed, still crying, and went to go get my vitals taken before breakfast.
My vitals were taken by the nurse, she could clearly see that I was crying and upset. Her response to that was “your blood pressure and pulse are high”. I just thought to myself “well, you think?!”. Tears had been falling nonstop for about 15hrs at this point.
I ate my breakfast and waited for our group meeting that morning, hoping that I’d get to talk to the psychiatrist soon. I was hoping I would be able to leave.
Once we finished with our group. I went to sit in the common area with others. I continued to cry. The Xanax I requested still hadn’t arrived, and I hadn’t had my medication either. It had been well over 24hrs since the last time I had taken it.
The psychiatrist came out to get me, and we went into a room to chat. She asked what was going on, what medications I was taking, and all the normal questions that they would ask in a situation like that. As I was answering her, I was crying and laughing. I explained that I hadn’t been able to get my anxiety under control and apologized for the tears.
I mentioned to her a few times that I had a counseling appointment scheduled for that day and I was hoping to be able to make it to that, but I ended up in the hospital instead. She thought I had already missed the appointment. I told her again that I had one scheduled, but specified it was for later that afternoon. She finally got it and asked when my appointment was. I told her it was at 4 pm. She told me that they were going to go ahead and release me so I could make the appointment and not have to wait another week. I was so happy but still couldn’t stop crying.
I told her I had asked for Xanax the night before and never received it. She was able to help get that taken care of. Once I took it, I knew I’d be able to get the tears to stop. She came through and got the nurse to give me one. Once it kicked in, the tears finally stopped! So much relief.
Convincing the Skeptical
I had to meet with a caseworker that morning as well. I tried to explain that my co-worker who I also claim as my father brought me in. He was pretty skeptical. My guess is that it’s not common for someone to be brought in directly from work by a co-worker.
They told me that he would have to be the one to come pick me up and that he would be responsible for me. The caseworker called my father to tell him about my status and to fill in the blanks of our relationship. Once he was aware that there was a lot of depth to our relationship beyond being coworkers, he changed his attitude towards the situation. He needed to know what level of care my father was able to give me after release.
He advised my father that he would be my care partner in the matter and that he was going to pick me up in an hour. They had confirmed my counseling appointment for that afternoon as well.
After finishing lunch they started prepping my release paperwork and got my personal belongings for me. I asked the nurse if I could put on my bra before leaving. I didn’t want everything hanging out for everyone to see. He started to laugh and told me that would be fine, but that I wasn’t able to put on my belt yet.
After they let me know my father was there to get me I was escorted down to the main entrance and released into his care. We went to go pick up my car, which was left at work, and I headed home to get cleaned up before my counseling appointment.
Once I got there, we did an overview of the events that occurred the previous day and decided that it would be best for me to stay with someone for the night. This way I wouldn’t be alone when I started to decompress from the last 24 hours. Since my mom and dad already had my dog, I asked if I could stay with them. They told me yes.
After reading these posts, I hope you realize that there is a lot that I did wrong in handling this situation. I plan to share a “reflective” post on these events in the very near future.