My head is still spinning. The past month has been a challenge to say the least.
Between issues in my marriage, questions about myself and where I belong in this world, and dealing with everyone on the outside, I am exhausted.
I saw a therapist for the first time in years yesterday. I had one of those moments the the lightbulb just kind of went off in my head by talking to him.
It’s not necessarily that I have a lot of problems in my life. Sure, I have insecurities and unhandled business, but I’m really not that crazy.
My problem is that I’ve spent the past few years trying to force myself to be someone I’m not.
I always looked at people, wondering why I couldn’t be like them, why I couldn’t just be happy. I now realize it’s because I spent more time wanting to be like them than wanting to be like me.
I am an introvert. No doubt about it. Obviously the way society is today, the impression is given that you’re wrong. Guess what, I’m just a little different.
To add to it, my personality type is one of the rarest in the population. That doesn’t help either. But it explains a lot. I can work with it.
I’m facing the right direction now. I can take a few steps at a time without spinning my wheels. Not everyone will understand me, sometimes I don’t think I understand myself. I can however learn to use who I am to my advantage. I just have to let go of all the things people think they know about me and realize that they just don’t understand. No matter how much it makes me want to scream sometimes.