One of my first posts was about religion and how losses in my family of those close to me had made me question religion. You can read more on it here.
It’s been just over 4 years since that post, and honestly, religion hasn’t played much of an upfront role in my life. I have focused some on Buddhism, but have not been able to dedicate the time that I’ve wanted in order to fully jump in.
I was raised Christian.
A couple months back, I was talking to a friend. He brought religion into our conversation, and I would have to say that was the first time I admitted to someone I knew, that I had bailed on faith and religion at the loss of my uncle’s. That was a painful, and tearful thing to admit.
Ever since then, it’s been sitting like a rock. I’ve spent many of my drives to and from work just trying to answer the apparently not-so simple question: “do you believe?” I would say it’s been about two months, and I still can’t answer that. Do I want to believe? Yes, but I don’t know that I do. I’ve had all the follow up questions run through my head during these times.
I have all of the curious questions like a two year old. They’re never ending. When I get around to asking a few, I get easily frustrated. Seems this whole religion deal is way over my head. It’s a lot for me to figure out, and I can’t even figure out if I believe.
Have you ever had an identity crisis relating to religion? How did it resolve?